So sorry I missed posting yesterday! I had every intention of getting a chapter in, but the day just swallowed me. I'm going to make up for it with two posts today, I hope. This one is a little bit shorter than usual, and done in a slightly different format. I hope you will find it interesting even so! Check back later today for chapter 28.
The Chapter that
almost ended Heartless . . . and my writing career as we know it.
many of you know already that I started out writing this story in a much
shorter version, by hand. The first novel-length version of Heartless was no more than 40,000 words
long, and it was entirely focused on Una's part of the story. I penned it in a
selection of spiral notebooks and my leather-bound journal of the time.
that summer of composition, I took a trip out to Oklahoma to visit my USAF
brother, Tom, who was at flight school at the time (he's now a decorated
search-and-rescue helicopter pilot). Anyway, I took along my notebook on the
airline flight to have something to do. I had written all the way up through
Una's escape from Oriana in dragon form, her flight across country, all the way
to Southlands. Indeed, I had come all the way to the point of Una's
confrontation with Prince Lionheart . . .
sitting there, at 4:00 in the morning (I always purchase early tickets. Saves
money), my knees tucked up to my chest, waiting to board my flight, I stared at
my page and thought, I can't write this.
just couldn't bear the thought of
Lionheart betraying Una so utterly! Up until this point, I, along with Una,
could tell myself that the Dragon was a liar. That it was all part of his
wicked ploy to transform Una according to his will. But that maybe . . . just maybe
. . . Una would come to Southlands and discover that it was all a trick! That
Lionheart was indeed faithful, that he had not betrayed her as she
thought! That something else had kept
him back, but he all along intended to come through, to find her, to fight his
foe, to liberate the captives and become the hero!
wanted it almost as badly as Una did. I had fallen head-over-heels for
Lionheart myself, after all. He's so charming! He's so funny! And he has
suffered so much. I knew when I started out writing him into the story that I
had to make him convincing. I had to
make the reader fall for him as hard as Una did . . . and in my case, at least,
I put aside the notebook. I knew deep
down in my heart that this scene had to play out the way it did. But I put
aside and for about a month tried to consider some alternate path. Tried to
tell myself that there was still some way I could rewrite the novel, making
Lionheart the hero.
even considered not finishing the book entirely.
of course, in retrospect would have been disastrous. Heartless was the book that got my career up and running. I had
written other things and toyed around with other ideas, but most of them were
too complicated for my skill-level. Heartless
struck the perfect balance of being a simple enough plot for my writing skills
of the time, while maintaining some complexity and depth that can surprise the
reader. It was the perfect gateway story into this series, and the perfect
gateway story into my career.
knew this. I knew God had planted this story in my heart for a purpose, and I
suspected that part of that purpose at least was getting my longed-for writing
career started. But I had to finish the book
first . . . .
took some time and some prodding. I kept starting and stopping this scene
again, unwilling to watch the conversation play out as I knew it would. I
focused on developing my teaching studio, taking on art students and taking another teaching
position at a local learning center. I sketched and painted and pretended that
the story just wasn't as important as all that.
it was. So eventually, after some serious prodding from God during moments of
prayer, I picked up the notebook, and I finished this scene. Along with Una, I
experienced the heartbreak of rejection, of final rejection. Of knowing that
those little lies I've told myself can never become truth. Of knowing that
those dreams I cherished were truly dead and burned.
was indeed the antithesis of his name. Lionheart was the coward.
because of his cowardice, this book came to life with a story that resonates.
And just a few months later, God opened doors for me. I signed with an agency,
and soon after, signed with Bethany House Publishers.
to think, I might have missed all of that because of this one scene!
1. "There is
something odd about your face, something not--"
I could say the same," Una replied, and a tiny smile lifted the corner of
her mouth. "That beard . . . " She reached out a hand to his face,
but he caught it and pushed it away. (p. 260)
is no time for jokes," he said.
drew back and wrapped her arms about herself, still keeping the scale-covered
hand hidden. "Then it is true," she said. "You have killed
jester." (p. 260)
must do what's best for my kingdom. That includes not being devoured by
monsters. Can you understand that? My people need me alive, not roasted."
Questions on the
1. Lionheart spends
a great deal of his time in this chapter making excuses. But don't you think
that some of these excuses might be valid? What are your thoughts on
Lionheart's explanations to Una in this chapter?
2. What do you think
of Una's reaction? Should she (if she weren't a dragon) have been more
understanding? Do you think this reaction of hers is understandable? How would
you have felt in her place?
3. Favorite lines?
It's very interesting to hear that you wanted to stop at this point. What a loss that would have been to all of us! I personally love this scene in the book. Una is so tragic and Lionheart is so desperate to justify himself. Which brings us to...
1. Lionheart certainly made a lot of excuses. When we read Veiled Rose we see how hard the prince's life was. There are few, I believe, who could have gone through exactly what Lionheart went through and not done what he did. As Imraldera said, "Who's to say what any of would have done in his place?"
2. It was totally understandable for Una to be upset and heartbroken. Now turning into a dragon and trying to kill Lionheart was a bit of an overreaction! :)
1)Having not read Veiled Rose yet, I don't know of Lionheart's past. But when I read this scene in Heartless, I was really mad at him for his excuses and how he let Una down. But I also understand the responsibility on his shoulders, though I don't think he should have used his people as an excuse for how he acted towards Una.
2) I definitely think her reaction is understandable; she's pinned all her hopes on him and he's let her down. I would have felt the same in her place--lost, angry, and sad.
2. I think that Una is valid in feeling betrayed by Lionheart. He should have been honest about his situation. He let her know a little bit of what is going on but he does not tell her he was there for the ring or why he needed it.
It will be interesting to see Lionheart in later books. I want to see the man he becomes. I like the rawness of your characters. Don't change the way you write too much. There is something special about your books and I believe it strongly has to do with the realness of your characters.
Wow, what an amazing writer's journey! A small press is looking at my MS. Eek. Exciting times. Anyways, the questions!
1. I can't imagine having the courage to stand up to a dragon, I could kind of see why Lionheart wasn't, but I think this points out the verse about loving the world, losing your soul. When we do, we can't be heroic. To stand for what's right no matter what will happen to us.
2. I would have been angry, hurt. But I think her thoughts, feelings were very much influenced by her dragon nature.
@Jennette: That is so exciting about your manuscript!!! I will say a prayer for you (and it) right now. Keep us all posted!!!
Thank you Ms. Stengl! I appreciate it! The Lord's will be done.
1. Yes, I suppose some of his excuses are valid, "My people need me alive, not roasted." pg. 263
2. Yes, I would probably would've been angry. "You asked me to trust you." But yeah, trying to kill him in dragon form is overreacting.
3. "I suppose so. I'm trying it out for size. Usually I find that 'sorry' isn't enough, so I don't often bother with it anymore..." "It isn't enough," she whipsered. He shook his head, exasperated. "I can't help that." pg. 263
1) I guess he DID have to stay there and help his kingdom. But that is all I can possibly give him.
I don't blame Leo (took awhile for me to get to that), but he was a coward.
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