Golden flecks of sunlight tumbling through emerald
The smell of earth, of trees
Living, breathing, growing.
The river nearby,
Cool water gently combing its fingers through her
hair.
Above the laughing, bubbling stream,
The wind caresses the leaves
Whispering its secrets to any who will hear
Inviting the wanderer to lose herself
In memory and dreams.
Stay…
Stay
awhile
Let
your eyelids fall
Slowly
down,
Down.
Sweet surrender
And then the gently mocking whisper:
Pretty
maid, be mine,
Mine,
Mine.
VOTING: If
you would like to vote on this or any of the other fan fiction
submissions, email your top three titles to me at aestengl@gmail.com. Voting is for fans of the Goldstone Wood series only.
9 comments:
Ooh! I love the spooky tone! Great job, Sara!
Sublime. It flows like a river, and has an eerie undertone. Nice job!
Very, very nice! You must live near the woods. This poem totally captures their enchantment. I'm going to share this with my son (who works in the woods). I think he will agree. :)
Shiver. That was outstanding! Very lulling, frightening and beautiful. Loved how you captured the cadence of the river's voice and the repetitive use of Mine. Great job.
Oh! Lovely, lovely poem!
Beautiful and haunting! :D
That had a very nice rhythm and meter. It had a sort of lulling, shushing, swirling enchantment to it. Very good!
Thank you for your kind comments, everyone :)
I really like how you made the flow of the words work as their own imagery. The very words act to give the reader the image of the River, like its existence extends into the words of the poem themselves. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. The tone acts to give the reader the image of the River, it brought to me the image of the River deep in the Wood at twilight with haunting piano music plucking slowly in the background. So, awesome tone and imagery, and all of the above in combination with the words and diction easily create a character out of the River, and you characterize it perfectly. :) Awesome job!
Blessings,
Melanie
Post a Comment